Smile
by BooksEqualsLife
Summary: A one-shot for liz2413 - Loki's world has come crumbling down around him, his one reason to continue going on, gone. How can he be expected to cope with that kind of pain? - Don't need to be reading Exclusive right to read this one. :)


**Hey there everybody! Books here writing the first one-shot for **_liz2413! _**She had an awesome idea, and as soon as I saw it, about a million idea on how to write it popped in my head. I think we've got a winner here! I hope that it lives up to your expectations!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the base for this story or the characters. Just the dialogue, I suppose. :D**

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Devastation. That was the only word that had been running through his mind for the past week. Loneliness. Despair. Anguish. Pain. His whole world, everything that he had ever cared about, ripped away from him. The tears had come and gone repeatedly, but the pain had remained. Lying on their bed, he didn't even have the energy to sleep, let alone weep.

A knock at the door, interrupted his thoughts. Thor walked quietly into his room, eyes red and puffy. "You should come downstairs. Everyone is worried," his older brother begged.

"There is nothing for me out there," Loki said dryly, rolling over on the bed and burying his face into her pillow. The once potent scent of vanilla had slowly been fading from the pillow, and Loki fought desperately to cling to any remnant of her smell.

"I know that losing Natasha was a-" Thor started nervously.

"Never say that name," Loki growled possessively.

"Loki, she wouldn't want you to be destroyed like this!" Thor said. "She loved you, and she wouldn't want you to waste your life away like this!"

"Leave," he commanded, voice sounding muffled. He heard his brother sigh, and then the bedroom door close.

Wrapping his lanky body around the small pillow, he felt the familiar tears sting his eyes again. He wished that the white of sheets was her smooth, pale skin so that he could run his fingers down it how she liked. He wished that the red pillowcase was her hair, wild and untamed, made for him to run his fingers through. More than anything though, he craved her smile. So big and bright on her beautiful face.

He could still remember. He had told her not to. But her loyalty to her repulsive planet had won out in the end. She had left the confines of their reclusive state, going out into the world. It had been a solo mission, one that he had so desperately wanted to do with her. But she had grinned cheekily, kissing him lovingly and then standing on her toes to kiss his jaw like she always did. "I'll be fine," she had said. He had reached for her, but she had denied him. At that moment, he had been determined to ignore her when she would return. If he wasn't important enough for her to remain because he asked, then surely conversation with him wasn't important enough either.

_Fury knocked on the door. Loki had been fully prepared to give her his best aloof and bored look, but at the sight of seeing the one-eyed man with tears in his brown eye, he stopped. "She's gone," was all he had said._

The memory burned Loki to the core, and he threw the pillow violently across the room. Standing from their bed, he stalked over to their curtains, tearing them down. He kicked their bedside table over, threw down the vase of flowers he had gotten for her, watching the ceramics piece shatter onto the carpeted floor. There wasn't much left for him to destroy. If he were to walk into their bathroom, he knew that he would find the broken glass from their mirror. If he walked into their closet, he knew that he would see all of their clothes thrown on the floor, some probably torn beyond repair.

Screaming, the god fell to his knees, tearing at his black hair. Why did Odin have to do this to him?! The one moment where he had found his reason to live again, and now she was gone.

_He had gone to see her body immediately after he had heard. He had magic. There had to have been a way to save her. She couldn't be lost to him. It just couldn't happen._

_Then he saw her. Pale as a sheet, her green eyes were closed, the familiar sparkle hidden. The way the corners of her lips would turn upward as she would try to hide a smile, all he saw was blankness. Blood stained the flattering suit she wore, a gaping hole in her stomach. Tears spilled over into his vision, and his head fell onto her arm. He took her hand, begging for her fingers to twitch to life and take hold of his hand. Her hands were cold._

"_What happened?" he heard his brother demand._

"_She was compromised," Fury explained. "Someone betrayed her. Never saw it coming."_

"_She was alone," Loki wept, tenderly brushing the hair out of her face. "I promised I would be there with her. I promised that she would never be alone."_

"_I'm sorry," Fury said quietly. "She was a great agent and -" Loki's hand swept through the air, Fury's body flying backwards until he hit a wall and crumpled to the floor._

"_She was more than an agent!" he screamed, glaring at the fallen man. "She was more than an Avenger! She was a person! And all you care about are the missions she won't get to complete for you!"_

"_Loki, I'm sure that's not what the director meant," Thor soothed._

"_I don't care what he meant! Get out! All of you get out! Leave us be!"_

Loki had tried to save her. But nothing. No matter how many spells he cast over her inanimate body, she remained still and cold.

He wanted to kill himself. He had no reason to breathe anymore. What more was there to life if she wasn't there by his side? Everything inside of him hurt. The spaces between his toes felt like they were being ripped apart. The skin on his back felt like it was being melted away with boiling water. His chest felt like it was being disintegrated. He could feel his heart inside of him withering away to a pile of dust. The pain was unimaginable.

Another knock at the door, dragged him from his suicidal thoughts. It was such a familiar tapping, he almost felt a spark of hope erupt inside of him. Three steady knocks. One, two, three. Like they were dance moves, elegant and gentle.

One, two, three, he heard again.

The sound made tears come into his eyes again. She would give him two chances. Then, she would pound on the door. The graceful dance moves turning into powerful drumbeats that mimicked the rhythm of the heart. That was how she would knock.

One, two, three, the door banged. The tears froze on their way down his angular face, and he stared at the door with disbelief. "I know you're in there," she would say after that. Anxiously, he waited on the sound, still kneeling on the floor and begging with everything in him that he would hear the sweet voice.

"I know you're in there," he heard her complain.

Whether it was a hallucination or not, he didn't care. He scrambled to his feet, swinging the door open wide, finding his Natasha standing there, looking like she was about to cry. "Natasha?" he whispered her name like a prayer, as if any disturbance to the sound barrier would make her fade away.

"I'm sorry," she cried, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing a hard kiss against his lips. It took only a moment for his body to come alive with her touch. He held her tightly, feeling like he could not possibly get closer to her. She pulled away a moment later to kiss his jaw and hug him, burying her face in his chest. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Are you really here?" he asked hesitantly.

"I know it's hard to believe," she said with a mirthless chuckle. "But yes. I guess the serum is a little more powerful than everyone originally thought."

He buried his nose in her hair, eagerly breathing in the comforting vanilla. Unlike the pillow, the smell was strong in his nose, convincing him of her realness. "What happened?" he begged. "Oh, never mind; I don't care." He lifted her face from his chest, tears clouding his vision. "Smile," he begged. "I just want to see you smile," he pleaded.

Her smile was wide and breathtaking as usual, though the tears continued to steadily drip out of her emerald eyes. Without thought, he wiped away the tears with the pad of his thumb before kissing her once more. "I don't know whether to hate you or love you right now," he said with a smile.

"Love me now, hate me later," she suggested.

He sighed and ran his fingers through her fiery hair, memorizing the tantalizing way it slid through his fingers like silk. He wouldn't allow himself to ever forget this. "I couldn't hate you if I tried," he said quietly, pulling her into their room and closing the door.

She ignored the trashed interior, for which he was grateful. "Promise?" she said tenderly, falling on their disheveled bed.

"Truest thing I've ever said," he replied, nose moving to nuzzle her cheek.

"I love you so much, Immortal God," she whispered, snuggling into his embrace.

"Not nearly as much as I am in love with you, Mortal Woman," he cooed, leaning in to capture her lips once more.

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**There it is! Oh, goodness this made me cry! I seriously got a little teary-eyed there! I hope that you liked it Liz! I know I certainly did! Leave a review everyone!**

**Love you all lots!**

** - Books**


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